What iJustine shares with David (or “Why ‘d4b’?”)

May 12th, 2009

Transcript:

EnglishWithDavid: Hello, iJustine; you recently posed a question:

iJustine: Let’s get to the Video Response Question!

SmallGoinTall: Hey, Justine, I was just wondering: What’s your middle name?

iJustine: [Dramatic Chipmink soundbite] I don’t have one!

Yah, I know; it’s pretty crazy. Does anybody else not have a middle name, or… is it just me?

EnglishWithDavid: Well, my honest, full, legal name is David Beroff…. I don’t have a legal middle name.

This became a slight problem at my very first job right after I got out of school. The payroll records there were based on each person’s three initials, and I only had two. I asked how many David’s they already had, and they said three, so I said, “Ok, so I’ll be David number four”, and that became my middle initial.

That was twenty-five years ago, and I still use “d4b” on everything: It’s my primary username everywhere… on Yahoo, on Twitter, my original account on YouTube, and of course, my personal blog on LiveJournal. I’m even going to use “D4B” for the license plate on the sexy new Honda CRX that I just bought.

Of course, having a middle initial of “four” does bring up the rather obvious question of what is my full middle name, to which I answer that my middle name is actually an irrational number which can’t be fully expressed within the confines of this video. ;-)

Washington, DC and back: My Day in Haiku

April 14th, 2009

Transcript:

Haiku is a form of poetry, with three lines structured to contain five syllables, then seven syllables, and then five syllables again. There is often a reference to nature or seasons.

A while back, I had a job delivering large-screen TV’s around the northeast US. On April 11, 2008, I decided to use SMS to blog from the road entirely in haiku. Well, it started with just one poem, but then the project started to grow….

Drive complete Beltway.
Circling DC, never in.
No cherry blossom.

I had to deliver TV’s to a series of customers living in the suburbs of Washington, DC. Interstate 495 is a 64 mile highway loop known as the Capital Beltway, and I ended up driving the entire circle that day, but I wasn’t able to actually drive into the city to see the Cherry Blossom Festival that they have each spring.

Second Amendment.
Country music. Roads named, “Lee”.
Mason-Dixon Line?

As I travelled south, I observerd various slight shifts in local culture. The Second Amendment to the US Constitution protects the right to keep and bear arms. Country music is a genre often associated with the southern US. General Robert E. Lee was a key figure in the American Civil War of the 1860’s. The Mason-Dixon Line is a boundry separating the North and South sides of that war.

Client excited,
Crashed into van. Doors now tied,
Like Sanford & Son.

Sometimes the TV’s were larger than the delivery van, and I would have to tie them down so they wouldn’t fall out the back. My boss would joke that the van sometimes looked like the truck on an old TV show called, Sanford & Son, where they would also tie things down to an overflowing truck. After I was done with one delivery, the customer was so excited that they accidentally drove their car into the delivery van. No one was hurt, but I had to tie the back doors together the same way I would tie the TV’s.

Dead men tell no tales.
At empty funeral homes,
They can sign receipts.

“Dead Men Tell No Tales” is the title of a book by E. W. Hornung. I delivered a TV to an empty funeral home; the door was open, so I just brought it in. I wasn’t exactly sure where to leave it, but then I found a dead body, and so I just left the TV there. Since no one else was around, I also had the deceased sign the receipt for the TV. ;-)

Extra work, no tip.
Barefoot: cold, wet Jersey Shore.
Nature gives tips, too.

My very last delivery was pretty late in the day, near the Atlantic Ocean shore of New Jersey. The customer asked me to do some extra work, and then never paid me a tip for doing so. After the delivery, I took my shoes off and just walked in the ocean for a little bit. That was nice.

My Day in Haiku.
Lucky is shaking his head,
“Where’d we get this guy!?”

My boss’s name really was Lucky, and he often thought I was crazy, especially when he’d hear stories like these about my deliveries. He really would shake his head and say that, so I wrote this final haiku of the day with him in mind.


If you cannot view the YouTube video above, here is the exact same video hosted locally:

You need JavaScript and Flash to see the video.

“In a World…” trailer for the Doctor who Cures Cancer

April 14th, 2009

Here’s a real quick “movie trailer” video that I created for a friend:

Transcript:

In a World… where the truth is stranger than fiction, one brilliant scientist defeated cancer, AIDS, drug addiction, alcoholism and migraines. For this, and more, click below on the Doctor who Cures Cancer!

My Very First Time… on a Segway!

April 5th, 2009

Transcript:

Wednesday was my very first time on a Segway. Let me tell you about it.

A Segway is a small platform, just large enough for one to stand upon, and there are two wheels, one on either side of your feet. It is motorized, and you control it by leaning slightly as you stand. The Segway will go in the direction that you lean, at a speed proportional to how much you lean.

After about ten minutes of practice, though, I found that I no longer even had to explicitly think about controlling the device; I just thought about where I wanted to go, and the Segway went there. In fact, the toughest part was staying in one place; with my ADD, I’d keep thinking, “Oooo, that looks like something fun”, and, before I knew it, the Segway would already be taking me there!

I was at a business conference at Lehigh University with Bob, the owner of the local Segway distributor. The hope was that we would be able to sell advertising on the front of the Segway, but most of the businesses represented at this conference were too small, and no one had any money.

Bob trained me on how to ride a Segway, but he was very concerned about my riding it at this conference, since everything and everyone were so close together, and there were very tight tolerances for movement all around. Bob was also concerned, especially since this was my very first time, and he had had a very bad experience with someone else in the past at a similarly tight venue. Ultimately, I was able to gain his trust, as I quickly learned how to maneuver around all of the obstacles.

It was clear that the Segway definitely caught people’s attention, as long as either they or their friends saw me coming. The problem came in when people didn’t notice me, as the Segway is very quiet, and that was sometimes a liability. Some people suggested a little horn, but I think that a constant, motor-like purring sound, at a lower volume, might actually be more effective in close quarters. If we are able to get some sort of advertising venture rolling, we’ll figure out the right combination of audio.

Another small problem is that, from my body’s perspective, I was standing in one place for a long time, and I started to feel this on the bottoms of my feet, and to a lesser degree, my leg muscles.

So, Bob and I continue to put our heads together to try to figure out how to make money with these Segways. I’m going start approaching larger local businesses, such as the chain restaurants and car dealerships… places that already advertise heavily, and are more likely to give us a try.

Update: Corrected to now read, “one on either side of your feet”.

Segways and video clips courtesy of Segway of Lehigh Valley. (THANKS, Bob!)

The Phonemes of American English

March 22nd, 2009

Transcript:

Hey! American English has many different dialects and accents, so different people here are going to speak somewhat differently. Here’s how I pronounce the phonemes of American English.

(Phoneme charts are from the IPA chart for English dialects page in Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia; footnotes and other links will not work!)

IPA Examples
IPA: English Consonants
p(ʰ) pen, spin, tip
b but, web
t(ʰ)[3] two, sting, bet
d[4] do, odd
tʃʰ chair, nature, teach
gin, joy, edge
k(ʰ) cat, kill, skin, queen, unique, thick
ɡ go, get, beg
f fool, enough, leaf, off, photo
v voice, have, of
θ[5] thing, teeth
ð[6] this, breathe, father
s see, city, pass
z zoo, rose
ʃ she, sure, emotion, leash
ʒ pleasure, beige, seizure
x Scottish loch[7]
h ham
m[8] man, ham
n no, tin
ŋ ringer, sing,[9] finger, drink
l, ɫ[10] left, bell
ɹ(ʷ) run, very[11]
w we, queen
j yes
ʍ what[12]
 
IPA: Marginal Sounds
ʔ uh-(ʔ)oh

 

IPA Examples
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AuE
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CaE
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GA
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IrE
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NZE
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RP
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ScE
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SAE
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WaE
com-
pro-
mise
Lexical

set

IPA: English Vowels
æ,
æː
[13]
æ æ ɑ/æ ɛ æ a æ a æ TRAP lad, bad, cat[14]
ɑ/ɒ ɑ ɑː ɐː ɑː ɑː PALM father
ɔ ɑ ɒ ɒ ɔ ɔ ɒ ɒ LOT not, wasp
ɔ ɔː ɔː ɒː ɔː THOUGHT law, caught[15], all, halt, talk
ə ə ə ɘ ə ə ə ə ə COMMA about
ɨ ɨ ɪ ɨ ɨ ɨ English
ɪ ɪ ɪ ɪ ɪ ɪ ɪ[16] ɪ ɪ KIT sit
i i i i i i i HAPPY city
FLEECE see
meat
æɪ eɪ/e æe e FACE date
ei day, pain, whey, rein
e ɛ ɛ ɛ e ɛ ɛ e ɛ ɛ DRESS bed[17]
ɜː(ɹ) ɝ/ɹ̩ ɝ/ɹ̩ ʌɾ[18] ɵː(ɹ) ɜː(ɹ) ʌɾ[18] øː(ɹ) ɜː(ɾ) ɜr NURSE burn
ɛɾ[18] ɛɾ[18] herd, earth
ɪɾ[18] ɪɾ[18] bird
aː(ɹ) ɑɹ ɑɹ ɐː(ɹ) ɑː(ɹ) aː(ɾ) ɑr START arm, car
a ʌ ʌ ɔ, ʊ ɐ ʌ ʌ ɐ ɜ ʌ STRUT run, won, flood
ʊ ʊ ʊ ʊ ʊ ʉ ʊ ʊ ʊ FOOT put
hood
ʉː u u ʉː ʉː GOOSE soon, through
ə(ɹ) ɚ/ɹ̩ ɚ/ɹ̩ ɘ(ɹ) ə(ɹ) əɾ ə(ɹ) ə(ɾ) ər LETTER winner[19]
ɑe aɪ,
ʌɪ
[20]
aɪ,
ʌɪ
ɔɪ ɑe ai PRICE my, wise, high
ɔɪ ɔɪ oe ɔɪ oi ɔɪ ɒi ɔɪ CHOICE boy, hoist
əʉ oʊ/o ɐʉ əʊ o œʉ GOAT no, toe, soap
ou tow, soul, roll, cold, folk
æɔ aʊ,
ʌʊ
[20]
æo ɑː au MOUTH now, trout
jʉː (j)u (j)u juː jʉː juː ɪu juː - cute, few, dew
ɪə(ɹ) ɪɹ ɪɹ iə(ɹ) ɪə(ɹ) ɪə(ɹ) ɪə(ɾ) ɪər NEAR deer, here
eː(ɹ) ɛɹ ɛɹ eə(ɹ) eə(ɹ) [21] ɛː(ɹ} ɛː(ɾ) ɛər SQUARE mare, there, bear
oː(ɹ) ɔɹ ɔɹ ɑɾ oː(ɹ) ɔː(ɹ) ɔɾ ɒː(ɾ) ɔr NORTH sort, warm
oɹ, ɔɹ oːɾ oː(ɾ) ɔər FORCE tore, boar, port
ʊə(ɹ),
ʉːə(ɹ)
ʊɹ ʊɹ ʊɐ(ɹ),
ʉːə(ɹ)
ʊə(ɹ) [22] ʊə(ɾ) ʊər CURE tour, moor
jʊə(ɹ),

jʉːə(ɹ)

jʊɹ, jɝ jʊɹ, jɝ jʊɐ(ɹ),
jʉːə(ɹ)
jʊə(ɹ),
jɔ:(ɹ)
juɾ ɪʊə(ɾ) jʊər - pure, Europe
Flag of Australia
AuE
Flag of Canada
CaE
Flag of the United States
GA
Flag of Ireland
IrE
Flag of New Zealand
NZE
Flag of England
RP
Flag of Scotland
ScE
Flag of South Africa
SAE
Flag of Wales
WaE
com-
pro-
mise
Lexical
set
Examples

Madoff victims on their ordeal

March 13th, 2009

This has been a really challenging exercise for me. When I first listened to the extemporaneous speech, I figured that this would be trivial; “of course” I had heard everything. But as I played it over and over again to catch every sound, I realized just how much of it was sentence fragments, without even the basic structure of subjects, objects, and verbs! The interesting part here was that, as a native speaker, I never even noticed the fragments, the nonsense sounds; I was just hearing the bigger picture, and the mind just filled everything else in, stitching the sound pieces into what I had initially thought were complete sentences. I can see that this is not as easy when you are listening to each sound individually.

I unfortunately can’t embed this video here, so you’ll have to open it up in a separate tab or window, and flip between the two: Madoff victims on their ordeal

[Transcription; grammatical errors transcribed as heard, and not corrected.]

“Uh, I think, obviously this was the only response today, was to put him in jail, and I think, we’re all relieved that he’s there, since the money being used, uh, to keep him at home, was really our money. Uh, but beyond that, I don’t, I don’t personally have a sense of vindication…”

BBC: “…or, uh…”

“…satisfaction.”

BBC: “Can you tell us how much money you lost, and what that money was for?”

“Uh, I have been trying not to get into this, but, according to the records, about two and a half million dollars, and that money, really, was our nest egg for our grandkids’ education, for the New York charities, especially, and our universities that we have been able to support in a major way.”

“I lost everything, it’s every… When you lose everything, it doesn’t matter.”

Reporter: “Tell me how hard it’s been for you? What’s so [???] you?”

[???]

“It’s been really difficult. I have retired, and now I’m forced to go back to work. My business had been shut down, and it’s restarting it, and this is not a time to restart it.”

“Uh, we lost three million, but, our, er, in-law’s lost ten million, and my sister-in-law’s lost one million.”

BBC: “The figures are astounding, and you’re just one victim.”

“Just one.”

BBC: “Back on December the 11th, when Bernard Madoff was arrested, how did you feel?”

“I was devastated; I went hysterical. I knew th.. that moment, that I heard, that he was arrested, that our whole lives has changed, everything, we had to reverse and go backwards.”

BBC: “And, what situation are you left in now? Because, presumably… I mean, you’re talking about a lot of money, but presumably, this sustained your lifestyle, and it sustained what was going to be your retirement.”

“It was going to to be our retirement. It did not sust… sustain our lifestyle at that point, because we live very modestly, we lived beneath our means, and we saved and saved and saved. But, my husband was in the process of retiring, and we were going to use that money to live. So, his practice, (he’s a CPA), is basically, was basically ending, and now he has to build it back up, because everything, we lost with Madoff.”

BBC: “How do you feel about the man who’s inside that courtroom now?”

“He’s evil, he’s evil incarnate. He really is. He has no remorse. He’s just a horrible man, he stole from charities, charities closed up, pension. It’s just awful man.”

The “-sion” sound in American English

March 10th, 2009

[Quoting myself from a recent discussion.]

Transcript:

American English makes a slight distinction between the voiced and voiceless versions of this sound. The “zh” sound in incision and decision is voiced, i.e., the vocal cords vibrate, and the “sh” sound in omission and transmission is voiceless, i.e., no vibration of the vocal cords. Place your fingertips on your throat to feel this vibration. Also note that your vocal cords will sometimes vibrate during other parts of the same word, but I am only concentrating on whether they vibrate during this one sound.

Here are some words with my own local accent:

The following words use the voiced “zh” sound:

concision
occasion
incision
decision
invasion
infusion
allusion
conclusion
confusion
profusion
vision
fusion

The following words use the voiceless “sh” sound:

shun
omission
transmission
nation
condition
ocean
motion
cushion
fission

Please send me a brief video of yourself chatting

March 9th, 2009

Transcript:

Please send me a brief video of yourself chatting

Hi, I’m David Beroff.

I’m launching my new site, EnglishWithDavid.com, and I need your help. I will be creating a video ad for the site, and I need to show other people chatting.

So, I need a video of you, chatting with someone off-camera. Please wear a headset and/or earphones and a microphone. (The other person does not have to exist; you can pretend!)

Ironically, you don’t even have to speak English, since I will be deleting your audio.

You must keep your words family-friendly, in case someone can read your lips. Needless to say, your appearance must also be family-friendly, i.e., no nudity, etc.

I need at least 30 seconds of raw (unedited) video as follows:

  • At least ten seconds of you looking directly at the camera. Half the time, you are “listening”: Nod your head, smile, react, but don’t say anything. The other half of the time, smile and speak enthusiastically. Use your hands animatedly, if doing so is natural for you and the way you usually speak.
  • At least ten seconds of the same, with you looking off-camera, slightly to the right.
  • At least ten seconds of the same, with you looking off-camera, slightly to the left.

I will retain full rights to your work, which means I have the right to do whatever I please with it, including doing nothing.

Send the video to me, David (at) Beroff.com, using the YouSendIt.com service.

I need these by Friday, March 13, 2009, or earlier if you can.

Even if you can’t help with your video, it’d be really great if you could please put this video on your own blog, in case one of your friends is able to help me. Just click on my face, and then use the YouTube “Embed” code for this video.

Thank you very much!

I Know (A Song in Ten Words)

March 6th, 2009

This is Hank Green, not me. But once I found the lyrics to this new song, I thought it’d be perfect for this blog.

I Know (A Song in Ten Words)
by Hank Green
(Lyrics transcribed by JqlGirl, supplemented by my own punctuation.)

I don’t think you know what you think you know, baby.
But baby, don’t you think that I know what I know, maybe?
Baby, I know what you think that I don’t know.
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

I know that you don’t think I know that I know what I know.
I don’t know what you think I think; I think you know I don’t.
But I know what you don’t think I know; I know, I know, I know.
Baby, I know that you don’t know what I know.
Baby, I know that you don’t know what I know.

I don’t know what I think, but I know what I know.
But you think that you know what I know that you don’t,
That I know what you think I don’t know.
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

I know that you don’t think I think that I know what I know.
I don’t know what you think I think; I think you know I don’t.
But I know what you don’t think I know; I know, I know, I know.
Baby, I know that you don’t know what I know.
Baby, I know that you don’t know what I know.

“I would like to buy a hamburger.”

March 6th, 2009

This is just a bit of pure silliness, starring Steve Martin, from the Pink Panther movie.